Five funniest political jokes in Taiwan.
五個台灣政壇笑話
雖說笑料卻是實情
一、 連戰、馬英九、吳敦義同坐直升機巡視。
連戰說:如果我丟一千塊下去,撿到那個人一定很高興。
馬英九說:如果我丟兩張五百元下去,那就有兩個人很高興了。
吳敦義說: 如果我丟十張一百元下去,就有十個人很高興了。
這個時候…………駕駛員喃喃自語地說:何不把自己都丟下去,讓兩千三百萬人都高興呢?
二、馬英九總統希望提高自己的聲望,跟當年老蔣那樣,發行一款有自己肖像的郵票 ……發行過了一個多月之後,馬英九想要瞭解銷路如何:
馬總統:銷售情形怎樣?
郵政局長:還算不錯,只不過常常有人抱怨黏不牢!
馬總統:怎會呢?馬英九隨手拿了一張郵票,塗了一點口水在郵票背面,便貼在信封上 ……
馬總統:這樣不是黏得很緊嗎?
郵政局長: 可是……大家……都把口水吐在正面啊……
三、某天,馬騜總統、寵臣金腹蔥、五院院長等大官一起去參加選戰會議, 結果途中發生連環車禍,送至醫院急救,記者們聞風趕至醫院……稍久,醫生出來了!
記者忙著問: 醫生!醫生!總統有救嗎?
醫生沮喪的搖搖頭說:唉……總統沒救了…….
記者又問:醫生!醫生!那前金蜜輸長有救嗎?
醫生又沮喪的搖搖頭說:唉 …… 也沒救了……
記者又問:醫生!醫生!那白賊義院長呢?
醫生絕望地搖頭說:唉 ……都沒救了……
記者就問:那 …… 到底誰有救?
醫生精神一振說: 台灣有救了!!
四、有一天馬英九總統和白粉知己金腹蔥前往高雄一家精神病院視察, 所有的病人都站在走廊上高聲歡呼,馬總統萬歲!金知己萬歲!
只有一名病人面無表情,對總統不理不睬。馬英九看到了,於是問院長說:那位病人為什麼不對我歡呼呢?
院長:因為他剛用過藥,今天精神非常正常。
五、 2012選情緊繃,馬英九競選團隊到鄉村緊急造勢, 不幸急中生亂,在山間翻車,正在農田作的老農民看見這情景, 就趕到出事地點,可是車上的人都死光了,於是他挖了一個土坑, 把幾個政客都埋了。過了幾天, 負責事故勘察的警察找到那個老農民,問那幾個政客到哪裡去了, 老農民說己經埋了!
警察趕緊追問:他們都死了嗎?
老農回答說:嗯,我看到馬英九在我埋他的時候大叫說他還沒死。
警察說:那你怎也把他埋了?
老農說:你知道的嘛,這個馬英九從不說實話。
(網路資訊 Internet message)
Sirtea 茶翁
This is my journal: It records my thoughts, my cares, my struggles, my achievement and failure, my observation of life and nature, internet circulation、treasures、or recycled junks I found, ... . If you stumbled upon this blog by accident or on purpose, I welcome you. Thank you for your visit and comments. Hurry back!
這裡紀錄著我的生活點滴:我在想些什麼, 做那些事, 關心何事, 我的得與失, 我對人與自然觀察所得, 網路資訊、撿到寳貝、或是古物回收,... 。如果您是專程特地來訪或是無意中路過, 我誠心歡迎您。多謝您來訪及留言指教。請再來噢!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Five Jokes 五個笑話
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Butterflies 119 蝴蝶集錦
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Grace Kelly 格蕾絲凱莉
Grace Kelly 格蕾絲凱莉
Grace Patricia Kelly (November 12, 1929 – September 14, 1982) was an American actress who, in April 1956, married Rainier III, Prince of Monaco, to become Princess consort of Monaco, and commonly referred to as Princess Grace.
On September 13, 1982, while driving with her daughter Stephanie to Monaco from their country home on the French side of the border, Princess Grace suffered a stroke, which caused her to drive off the serpentine road down a mountainside. She died the following day at the Monaco Hospital. Kelly was 52 years old. She and Prince Rainier had 2 daughters and 1 son.
Labels:
Favorite Collection 名人相片集
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A Proud Mother 母親的驕女
A mother's masterpiece.
She and her infant girl created creative artworks.
一位母親的傑作
她與她的嬰孩製作出創意的不朽作品。
She and her infant girl created creative artworks.
一位母親的傑作
她與她的嬰孩製作出創意的不朽作品。
Monday, August 29, 2011
Your Choice 你的抉擇
Vote for change.
看了這隻影片心酸不禁;
請合力換下傾中不顧台灣的馬政府。
看了這隻影片心酸不禁;
請合力換下傾中不顧台灣的馬政府。
Labels:
Social Activity 社交活動
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Hurricane Irene 愛琳颱風
Hurricane Irene doesn't have any effect on Sirtea Garden. We don't have any rain or stronger wind these past few days. Thank God. But, along the way up north, people died, wind damages, high tide, and water backup, evacuated empty town, New York City no Subways or buses services... .
愛琳風颱略過茶翁家園, 這幾天未下雨, 也没有較強風吹, 真感謝。可是沿途北上, 真是災情慘重, 已經有人不幸死亡, 紐約市的地鐡和公車全停擺(可能至星期一八月廿九日?)。
愛琳風颱略過茶翁家園, 這幾天未下雨, 也没有較強風吹, 真感謝。可是沿途北上, 真是災情慘重, 已經有人不幸死亡, 紐約市的地鐡和公車全停擺(可能至星期一八月廿九日?)。
Taiwan Grandparents Day 台灣祖父母節
Taiwan celebrates Grandparents Day today.
Wish you "Yei Yei Nai Nai" "A Kong A Ma"
Happy Grandparents Day!
台灣祖父母節 2011/8/28
敬祝各位阿公阿嬤爺爺奶奶阿祖
笑顏常樂!
Wish you "Yei Yei Nai Nai" "A Kong A Ma"
Happy Grandparents Day!
台灣祖父母節 2011/8/28
敬祝各位阿公阿嬤爺爺奶奶阿祖
笑顏常樂!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
92 Consensus=One China 九二共識=一個中國
Taiwan consensus vs. China consensus
According to the results of a survey released August 27, 2011, more than 70 percent of the people in Taiwan are not familiar with the content of the "1992 consensus," and nearly 65 percent said they would not accept the consensus under the "one China" principle.
69.3 percent supported the concept of "Taiwan being the ROC and the ROC being Taiwan." While only 13.8 percent of respondents agreed with President Ma Ying-jeou's notion that the "China" of his "one China" policy.
Chen Chi-mai, a DPP spokesman, said the majority of the country believes that Taiwan equals the ROC. "It is the mainstream will and desire of Taiwan's citizens," he said.
台灣共識對中國共識
台灣的「國家」觀糾葛在台灣與中國的差異認同裡。從「中國」走向「台灣」是歷史發展的形勢。民主化以後的台灣,面對中國國民黨挾持殘餘、虛構、他者的「中華民國」,這樣的歷史發展既是自覺,也是自救。
台灣人民曾經給中國國民黨失去政權後再執政機會。因為深信政黨輪替的民主政治原理,也因為馬英九競選總統時的「愛台灣」、「拚經濟」口號。他在爭取選票時,說了如果他做不好,也同意接受政黨輪替的民主考驗。
但,馬英九復辟了中國國民黨政權後,顯然不想善了。在他笑臉背後的邪惡一面是聯中制台,從反共愛國陣線聯盟成員而轉向事事以中國共產黨為馬首。虛擬的「九二共識」就是馬英九體制的幌子。併合其「不統、不獨、不武」的否定式虛張口號,讓人無法想像台灣國家的未來。
二○一二年總統大選,既是馬英九政權的考驗,更是台灣的挑戰。對於中國國民黨來說,「中華民國」既是殘餘國家,只能算是殘餘權力與制度。能夠在一九四九年以後倖存於台灣延續迄今,已算世界奇蹟。但對於台灣,這是能否走向新生國家的重要一役。
民進黨總統候選人蔡英文提「台灣共識」,主張「當選總統後,會負責任透過公開與透明的民主程序,匯集國內包括各政黨共識,與中國進行互動、協商與對話,來面對中國崛起與台灣的挑戰。」這種基於民主機制的政治主張與中國國民黨馬英九反民主的「中國共識」恰成高反差的對比。
馬英九以莫須有的「九二共識」,亦即「中國共識」逼迫台灣與共謀皮。而虛構的一中各表,凸顯他與中國國民黨的他者立場,在中華人民共和國並不承認「中華民國」為國家形勢裡,「中國共識」無異國家落日條款,讓台灣成為「中華民國」的陪葬品。
以 「台灣共識」共同在民主化條件下重建一個新國家?還是在「中國共識」下,接受國共專擅程序,將「中華民國」置於中華人民共和國之下?二○一二年的總統大 選,生活在台灣的人們應該會作出選擇,自我拯救,以確保民主化的意義與價值。(作者李敏勇,詩人)20110827 自由電子報
According to the results of a survey released August 27, 2011, more than 70 percent of the people in Taiwan are not familiar with the content of the "1992 consensus," and nearly 65 percent said they would not accept the consensus under the "one China" principle.
69.3 percent supported the concept of "Taiwan being the ROC and the ROC being Taiwan." While only 13.8 percent of respondents agreed with President Ma Ying-jeou's notion that the "China" of his "one China" policy.
Chen Chi-mai, a DPP spokesman, said the majority of the country believes that Taiwan equals the ROC. "It is the mainstream will and desire of Taiwan's citizens," he said.
台灣共識對中國共識
台灣的「國家」觀糾葛在台灣與中國的差異認同裡。從「中國」走向「台灣」是歷史發展的形勢。民主化以後的台灣,面對中國國民黨挾持殘餘、虛構、他者的「中華民國」,這樣的歷史發展既是自覺,也是自救。
台灣人民曾經給中國國民黨失去政權後再執政機會。因為深信政黨輪替的民主政治原理,也因為馬英九競選總統時的「愛台灣」、「拚經濟」口號。他在爭取選票時,說了如果他做不好,也同意接受政黨輪替的民主考驗。
但,馬英九復辟了中國國民黨政權後,顯然不想善了。在他笑臉背後的邪惡一面是聯中制台,從反共愛國陣線聯盟成員而轉向事事以中國共產黨為馬首。虛擬的「九二共識」就是馬英九體制的幌子。併合其「不統、不獨、不武」的否定式虛張口號,讓人無法想像台灣國家的未來。
二○一二年總統大選,既是馬英九政權的考驗,更是台灣的挑戰。對於中國國民黨來說,「中華民國」既是殘餘國家,只能算是殘餘權力與制度。能夠在一九四九年以後倖存於台灣延續迄今,已算世界奇蹟。但對於台灣,這是能否走向新生國家的重要一役。
民進黨總統候選人蔡英文提「台灣共識」,主張「當選總統後,會負責任透過公開與透明的民主程序,匯集國內包括各政黨共識,與中國進行互動、協商與對話,來面對中國崛起與台灣的挑戰。」這種基於民主機制的政治主張與中國國民黨馬英九反民主的「中國共識」恰成高反差的對比。
馬英九以莫須有的「九二共識」,亦即「中國共識」逼迫台灣與共謀皮。而虛構的一中各表,凸顯他與中國國民黨的他者立場,在中華人民共和國並不承認「中華民國」為國家形勢裡,「中國共識」無異國家落日條款,讓台灣成為「中華民國」的陪葬品。
以 「台灣共識」共同在民主化條件下重建一個新國家?還是在「中國共識」下,接受國共專擅程序,將「中華民國」置於中華人民共和國之下?二○一二年的總統大 選,生活在台灣的人們應該會作出選擇,自我拯救,以確保民主化的意義與價值。(作者李敏勇,詩人)20110827 自由電子報
Labels:
Social Activity 社交活動
Tree Root Marks 樹根造圖
Friday, August 26, 2011
When We Were Young 當我們年青時
孩子們, 我們也曾年青過。甚至過得比你們還稱心快活。
To all the kids who survived the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's! (Message from email)
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we slept on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. We have friends, and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We got BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If you are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!
Your kids might want to know how brave and lucky their parents were.
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornado, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. God determines who walks into your life...it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
IN GOD WE TRUST A Small Prayer!
Father,
God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen.
To all the kids who survived the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's! (Message from email)
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we slept on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. We have friends, and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We got BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If you are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!
Your kids might want to know how brave and lucky their parents were.
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornado, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. God determines who walks into your life...it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
IN GOD WE TRUST A Small Prayer!
Father,
God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen.
Labels:
Art Work 美工,
Meditation/Motivation 靈修及鼓勵
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